So for a long time now I have struggled with my writing. A trip to Bristol and the UK Meet didn’t fix it nor did a holiday. I’ve tried. I mean I really have. I write 1k and then read it and loose all hope. My confidence disappeared completely. I would read status updates about contracts & submissions and have to beat the jealously down with a large stick.
Not writing affected my mood and my anxiety. I was also taking hormone medication which affected me so severely that in April just before Bristol had a breakdown at work of all places. It took me 8 weeks to recover. In that time I edited my short of the NQS anthology, joined a gym, dealt with a bout social anxiety and healed. Slightly.
But I still couldn’t write and in turn I let people down.
Until this week. After I visited the London book signing earlier this week I completed a short story I’m going to submit to an anthology to be published next year. It needs editing, rewriting and some TLC but I’m so fucking proud of it.
I don’t know why I suddenly had a burst of energy. I think sitting & talking to, and finding common ground with other authors at the weekend has helped enormously. In particular the two people who I sat outside St Pancreas station with, even though they probably will wonder the hell how.
So thank you to them.
My short – Left Behind – I will submit & I have a 30k novella called Bad Boy in progress. I may not get awarded contract after contract, and I probably won’t write a book a month, but I will be kinder to myself in regards to my mental health and I definitely will be registering myself at the next book signing as an author.